Classified Classics

  • A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
  • No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
  • Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Père Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Chopin and Jean de la Fontain.
  • For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
  • Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
  • Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
  • We build bodies that last a lifetime.
  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
  • And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
  • For Sale: parachute, used once, never opened, small stain.

Sent by: Joke Labs posted on 02 October 2007