You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if...

  • Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
  • Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
  • You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
  • You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
  • You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
  • You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
  • You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."
  • You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
  • You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
  • You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
  • Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"

    Sent by: Joke Labs posted on 23 May 2007