Programming Revisited

  • Windows 95 is a 32 bit extension for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
  • Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
  • If God had intended Man to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports.
  • The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
  • The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
  • The determined programmer can write a COBOL program in any language.
  • Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug.
  • Al-gor-ithm" means "The unscrupulous technique of continuing to count and re-count until you get the result you want." (Sent by Gary Gilmore)
  • Don't get sucked in by comments--only debug code.
  • If cars had followed the same developmental path as computers, a Rolls Royce would cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and crash once a year.
  • If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
  • Demo-oriented programming: A programming style, typically used by startups, focusing on the demo of the program being developed, so it will easily catch the prospective investor.

Sent by: Joke Labs posted on 12 February 2007