Rules of the Chemistry Lab

  • If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
  • When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
  • Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time.
  • First draw your curves, then plot your data.
  • Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
  • Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.
  • To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
  • If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
  • In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
  • Do not believe in miracles--rely on them.
  • Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
  • All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
  • No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.
  • Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.

Sent by: Joke Labs posted on 10 January 2007