Texan's Guide to Life

  • Never squat with yer spurs on.
  • There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
  • Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
  • If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
  • Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
  • Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
  • Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
  • Finally, never miss a good chance to shut up.

Sent by: Joke Labs posted on 04 December 2007